It’s as if …I was walking dead.

Hard to recollect what had hit me, I found myself walking, breathing, and among the living. I pushed through each day confused and in shock. My body was moving, but all my feelings were numb. I no longer cared about things that meant so much to me before. I vaguely remembered a time when walking on a straight line was my goal. Placing each foot forward with every ounce of energy I had, I would walk that straight line. Never did I predict failure. I was STRONG and very determined.

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Nevertheless, that straight line grew impossibly long. The winds blew and the rain came down harder than ever. My body grew weak from many courageous efforts to “Stand Tall”. Losing my strength, I finally let go. I gave into those harsh winds and allowed myself to be whisked away into the cold air. The chill of winter blew between my fingers and I felt a cool breeze rush over my face. It felt like I landed on an icy ground; hitting my head so hard that I woke up not knowing who I once was. At that moment… I knew I was dead.

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The “Me” I once knew was gone. I no longer felt that burning desire to walk a straight line. I now wanted to BREATHE and seek out new adventures. For the first time, I was truly ALIVE. The interesting thing about death is that…your not really dead.

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To my surprise, I AM STILL ALIVE. I understand what I was missing before. I worked so hard to be this perfect somebody; to live up to the expectations of others…so perfectly. I had tunnel vision and didn’t realize it. Many times I ignored what was outside of my circle, and just walked straight. I only walked straight because it was safe.


I presently find myself slowly gravitating back to that straight line…but, there is something different about it. Instead of using all of my energy and focus to walk perfectly straight, I have learned to find BALANCE. I notice that balancing myself takes a lot of pressure off of my feet. Due to this epic discovery, I now walk more centered and enjoy the scenery along the way. When I found balance, I also found sight.

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Death is not what it seems. We are taught to morn the loss of a loved one, to act as though we will never see that person again. We morn when we should be celebrating. Rejoicing that our loved ones have passed to the next phase of life, where they come to know the true desires of their hearts. This phase of life we call “Death”, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, isn’t something we should morn. It is what we must embrace with peace and understanding that all is meant to be. Death, my dear friends, is not the end…it is only the beginning.

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Photos by Missi Photographie

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